Rej[prot]ected

I know what it feels like to fall head-over-heels in love with someone– to believe that God created them specifically for you. I know what having a best friend like you never had before and making plans with them and dreaming about your future and believing that nothing will ever come between the two of you feels like. And I know what it feels like to watch the person you held so dear to your heart walk right out of your life— and the worst part is that there is not one single thing you can do to change their mind.

I know what it feels like to replay everything over in your mind– every single thing. Every happy memory, any sad memory, the end– all of it. Constantly on a loop. As if reliving it over and over again will allow you to go back and change the fact that they are gone. I know what it feels like to cry so hard and so often that a time comes when you can’t even form tears any longer, when your throat hurts from sobbing, when your head is aching and begging you to please just lay down and close your eyes, and when you’re wishing you could just pull your heart out of your chest so that the aching will finally stop. I know what it feels like to want to sleep so you can have relief from the constant thoughts and images flickering through your head and not being able to escape because your dreams are even worse. And then you have to wake up and come to terms with everything all over again.

But do you know what else I know? I know that it will get better. I know that it takes time and sometimes it feels slower than Christmas. I know that your heart will heal– but you have to bring it to God.

We ask why an awful lot– why did this happen to me? Nothing will improve if we spend our time asking why instead of asking what. What am I being prepared for? What is God going to do in my life? What do I need to do to be who He created me to be?

God has someone out there for me and you. I wish it was simple and easy but it isn’t. And if it was, what would the point in living even be? We wouldn’t gain anything or grow into the person we need to be.

Sometimes we get people that are here for a season confused with those that are here for a lifetime. Sometimes we let rejection creep into our hearts and plant bitterness– but you can’t do that. There is protection in rejection. If we truly believe that God has our best interests at heart, that He is good and everything will work out for us believers, then why don’t we see rejection as a blessing? Obviously it hurts and I am in no way saying don’t feel the emotions that come with it. What I am saying is after that time of grieving (and even during) praise God. Thank God. Because whatever happened has a purpose in your life.

We’re like pearls. We have to be wounded to turn into something beautiful.

Even Jesus was rejected– and He did the most beautiful thing of all.

Whatever God removes from your life He will replace with something greater. I know there will be moments where you may doubt or feel the sting of hurt again, but you can’t allow it to consume your life. Yes, you were rejected– but that is not who you are. 

Disappointments are God’s way of saying He has something better in store for you. 

So love on yourself, love on others. Pray for the people that rejected you. Thank God for His protection. Don’t allow this hurt to make you bitter, no matter the circumstances. Keep your heart softened.

With love and grace, embrace the protection.

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Healing

Each day I ask God to heal my heart, soul, body and mind.

This past month or so has not been an easy one for me. I’ve had a great deal of heartache, confusion, and endless questions that I’m too afraid to ask. I’ve been working on growing through what I’m going through.

Some days are easier than others. I’ve been listening to worship music each morning, and periodically throughout my day when I’m feeling a bit low. I’ve been reading several devotionals and have also started a book that I should have started months ago. I’m working on renewing my mind to be more Christ-centered and less self-centered.

As I stated, I’ve been asking God for His healing. I’ve been told that healing is yours if you take it. It’s a decision. By this, I don’t mean you decide one day, “I’m healed” and never have trouble again– you do. But each time that feeling or thought pops in your mind, you have to cast it back into the sea.

In the beginning, I wanted to complain and I did. “Why did this happen to me? Where did I go wrong?” Yet, we should not complain. (Philippians 2:14 – 16) We know not what He is doing for us.

God delivered His people from the slavery in Egypt and was bringing them to the Promised Land, but do you know what they did? They complained. He was working wonders for them– yet they complained. And they didn’t get to see the Promised Land.

God has done so much for us and is doing for us and will do for us. We may not see it, but we have to trust and know that He is God. Appreciate how God has blessed you, despite your heartaches.

What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?”

You can complain or you can pray, but you cannot do both. 

With love and grace, be blessed.