Oh man, I have some raw truth for y’all today about myself. These past few months, I have been fighting the root of bitterness in my heart. The battle hasn’t been easy– I have struggled so. There are times when it overcame me, sent me into defeat, shaking and clutching a white flag. But then there was a time when I thought I had won, only to realize later that I had conquered a battle but not the war, because the enemy was coming back stronger, with greater ammo.
So here I am again, after a weekend where I succumbed once again to the feeling rising in my chest. Where I drove home in my best dress, face fresh with makeup, and tears streaming black down my cheeks all because I allowed the enemy to hit me where it hurts. I let myself grieve and pout in anger, nourishing the bitterness that was growing.
And tonight, as I rode home, I thought about what I need to do to finally conquer this bloodthirsty rival. And I researched what to do. And I prayed.
So there are steps to overcoming bitterness and I’m going to choose to follow the path to freedom. Here we go.
First, I am bitter. I am angry. I am hurt. I am jealous.
Second, I know why I feel this way. I feel like I’ve lost a friend or am losing her. I haven’t let the bitterness go because in a way, I feel like in turn that means I’m letting her go. And I don’t want to let her go.
Third, I know that letting go of bitterness does not mean letting go of her. So I am letting it go. I am releasing it and rebuking it in Jesus‘ name.
Fourth, I forgive her. And I am sorry. And I’m asking God to forgive me.
Fifth, I have expectations. And I have to change them. Things are different now, life is different now. There are many more factors that I have to remember that will affect my previous expectations. So I’m changing them and I’m expecting nothing now. I’ll be there when I need to be, always. And that’s what matters.
Sixth, I am bigger than bitterness. I’ll speak this truth to myself: “Bitterness, resentment, and anger have no place in a heart as beautiful as yours.”
Seventh, I will ask for help by asking my friends to pray for me and help to keep me aligned in God’s truth.
I have now processed and listed all the reasons why I should not be bitter. Why bitterness is a liar. Why satan is a liar. I will not be conquered. I have God on my side. I am MORE than a conquerer. And I will not fall victim any longer!
Back off, bitterness! Back off, satan! Shots have been fired!
intentional pursuit 