Are you ready for it?

My favorite verse, my testimony verse, is Romans 8:28. “And we know that in all things God is working for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.” I hold that verse dear to my heart. Any time somebody tells me about a struggle that they’re dealing with, I quote that verse– it is an automatic response.

Yet, for someone who quotes that verse constantly, wears it on a hat, has it on her mirror, has it written on her heart– I sure have allowed doubt to creep in.

The news is overwhelming and terrifying and there are so many people that I love that I’m avoiding because of this virus from the devil. And there have been a few nights where I have cried before bed because I felt so small and powerless. I feel like I’m walking in a bad dream, as do many others. And I have to remind myself that GOD is in control. And I have to remind myself that HE is working for OUR GOOD. GOD IS GOOD– ALL THE TIME. But the devil is bad, so awful. I rebuke him, in the name of Jesus! EVERYTHING has to bow to Jesus– EVERYTHING.

So I’ve been trying to focus on the PROMISE not the PROBLEM. I’ve been leaning into Jesus because in the panic, and the pandemic, He is our peace. I’ve been looking for the ways that He is moving. I’ve been watching and I’m waiting in HOLY ANTICIPATION because I believe we are about to experience a REVIVAL in our country– in our hearts. And I’m praying fervently. This afternoon I drove to an empty parking lot, with about 20 other vehicles of participants, and prayed this prayer:

It comes from 2 Chronicles 7:14.

“Lord, I come to You with this prayer for our land. You promise that when your people pray, humble themselves, and seek You, You will hear and answer. You even promise healing in the land. Lord, our land needs healing and I believe it starts with me. I humble myself before you right here, right now. I’m seeking Your face. I ask You to grant me a repentant spirit so I may be an instrument that ushers in Your blessing for this nation.”

And I felt like that was an awesome prayer to pray. So I’ve saved it to use again. I’m going to keep circling it. But with my whole heart, not as a ritual.

Afterwards, I went to visit my Meemee. I haven’t seen her in a week and I’ve been avoiding her. I didn’t go to her door or even inside her house. I walked around and stood in the backyard and talked to her while she sat inside her back porch. She told me repeatedly that I could come inside but I smiled and told her no. (She’s pretty stubborn but I can be too). And we talked about how she believes everything happens for a reason (as do I). She mentioned to me about how what she thought would once wreck her life ended up being the best thing that ever happened to her– she lost her job at the mill and ended up going to LPN school. She remembers how she felt about it at the time and how she was so thankful that it had happened to her. Meemee said that this virus situation is like that– families are spending quality time together, having family meals, playing outside, younger people are checking on the elderly and looking out for them, busy people are getting rest that they haven’t had in years, strangers are uniting to help those in need, and most importantly, God is being glorified. Churches/individuals are gathering outside hospitals to pray, medical staff are being lifted up, they are worshipping at places that nobody ever imagined possible, companies are giving away food, materials, and time to help, churches are coming up with unique ways to meet. Tell me God isn’t moving because HE IS. And I believe that something AWESOME is going to happen. SOMETHING DIVINE.

There is a song that keeps repeating in my head. “Watch What He Will Do” by Cross Point Music ft. Zach Kale has a specific line that I’ve been holding onto: “You better get ready for a miracle, you better get ready for the joy, you better get ready for revival, cause it’s coming, it’s coming.”

You better get ready.

Welcome Home

I’ve been wide awake since 2 a.m. this morning. I had no trouble sleeping Friday night, after traveling for a day. However, tonight I have not had the same luck. Since sleep apparently is avoiding me, I thought now would be a good time to write about my amazing pilgrimage to Israel– the Holy Land.

Where do I begin? How can I even put all my little but significant thoughts and cherished memories into words? I’ll try, and hopefully it will all tie together nicely in the end.

On Sunday, September 22nd, the day before my 25th birthday, I waved goodbye to my momma and sister from the Atlanta airport security line, turned around, and said hello to the adventure that lay ahead of me. Every ounce of my being was filled with nervousness and excitement. My carry on backpack was slung over my back, having all the necessities carefully positioned inside. My red, Big Creek Missions, sweatshirt was folded across my arm, and my “Disney Group” nametag hung from my neck, gently, in front of my “Be Salty” t-shirt that Mrs. Kelly made for me. I was as ready as I could ever be, not truly knowing what to expect, but praying that our flight would be kind to me and that my luggage would not be lost.

In the airport that night, I didn’t know the whole group yet. I only knew my Mission Mom, Robin, my Deacon Dad, Leslie, the Pastor, and two gentlemen from their church. Everybody else was a stranger to me. Sitting there in that airport terminal, I had no idea how much I would come to love all of those beautiful people over the next two weeks.

Robin and Leslie surprised me with my birthday gift that night in the cafeteria, after a dinner of greasy, naked dogs from The Varsity. That sweet and unexpected moment helped to distract me even more from the nerves that had built up inside from thinking about the long flight ahead.

I didn’t get sick on the flight at all. I took Dramamine, which helped me sleep and not suffer from motion sickness. Thank God for that small, orange pill. We had a layover in Turkey where we switched planes and flew into Tel-Aviv. Sometime between leaving Atlanta and arriving in Israel, my birthday rolled around and my “parents” wished me a happy one. When we arrived at our hotel for the night, the group sang me “Happy Birthday” during dinner, which of course made me blush.

I met my sweet roomie, learned how to use the electricity with my keycard, and made a quick call to my mom to let her know I was safe. The next morning, we hit the ground running and from that point on, did not slow down.

Every day on the bus, we began with prayer and a song, “This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” That was our theme song for the trip and I will hum it fondly for the rest of my days. Our bus rides were full of “bus questions” (which I came up with mostly because I love getting to know people), sharing snacks, lots of laughter, and learning about the Holy Land.

Each place that we explored was unique and important in its own way. I have favorites, like the Sea of Galilee area. The quiet, serene water hushed my worry and poured peace into my heart. I loved being able to see it from all around. I loved riding on the boat and worshipping God. I loved wading into the cool water and feeling so refreshed and alive. JESUS WALKED ON THAT WATER. HE CALMED THOSE WAVES. HE CALLED TO HIS DISCIPLES FROM THAT SHORE. And I, a small town girl from Almost Georgia, Alabama, was given the opportunity to not only see it in person, but submerge myself in that sea. I looked around and saw nothing but azure water guarded by cotton candy mountains and sky. My heart soared and I smiled to myself, not caring if the Swiss swimmers thought I was an odd American. (Thank you Robin for encouraging me to take that dip.)

Before completely leaving the Sea of Galilee area, I was Baptized in the Jordan River. The night before, I was getting nervous and overthinking things. I started Googling “what happens at a Baptism” and reading the articles! I swear I don’t know why I’m the way that I am. The morning of the Baptism, I could barely eat breakfast. Or sit still. Or think straight. Leslie made a joke about how long I could hold my breath while we were waiting to board the bus. Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one nervous because while seated on the bus, Mrs. Tawnya told me she was also scared. Deep down, I know it was the devil trying to ruin this special moment. Together, we pushed him out of our minds. I took a quiet moment to pray and get my heart right with God before we arrived. I donned my white robe and slipped off my shoes, gathering with the rest of the group on the stairs of the Baptismal site. Mrs. Kelly told me to wear shoes but 1) I thought I would slip in them and 2) I wanted to be barefoot, it felt right to me. Leslie held my hand and guided me to where we needed to be. (He knows I am clumsy and part of the platform was slick.) When it was time, I was focused so intently on what he was saying, trying to take it all in, but all I remember is he called me his sister and I couldn’t help but smile. Next thing I know, I’m leaning back, taking one last quick glimpse at my surroundings, closing my eyes, and being engulfed by the Jordan River. Just as quickly as I went under, I am back up above the water, exhilarated and feeling accomplished. We walked over to the railing and watched everybody else be Baptized followed by cheering and clapping. As I stood there staring at that blue-green river, fish nibbling at my feet, I couldn’t help but grin. I had done it. I had been Baptized in the Jordan. Just like Jesus. My heart swelled as I leaned my head against Leslie’s shoulder and thanked him. I will treasure that morning for as long as I live.

From the area of Galilee, we headed towards the Dead Sea. I couldn’t believe how pretty it was, even though it holds no life. However, the Sea of Galilee is still the most beautiful to me. We all ventured out to the beach and into the salty, warm water. Robin grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s show them how it’s done.” We, surprisingly, gracefully leaned back into floating position. Maneuvering out of that position was more difficult than I anticipated. I had to have assistance a few times. I can see the appeal of the Dead Sea, but it didn’t satisfy my soul like the Sea of Galilee did. Because of the high salt content, I couldn’t completely immerse myself in the water, which I love to do since I’m practically a mermaid. Plus, the water didn’t feel refreshing either– it was kind of uncomfortable to be honest. Despite my dislikes, experiencing the Dead Sea is something I am thankful to have been able to do. And overall I did enjoy the float with our group.

We walked an average of 10,000 steps per day. All I’m saying is nobody better ask if I skipped leg day while I was gone. We climbed flights of stairs and hiked mountainsides. Being home, I am restless. I thought maybe I’d be glad to rest again, but I am most definitely missing all the movement.

After leaving the Dead Sea area, we headed for our final destination: Jerusalem. As we made it through the gates, our wonderful guide Ramzi played “The Holy City” over the speakers.

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem!
Lift up your gates and sing,
Hosanna in the highest.
Hosanna to your King!”

We stopped and took a look at the city from Mount Scopus. Pastor David smiling, said, “This is why we came.”

Our hotel was beautiful and looked like a fortress. (My room looked like a convent though, which was hilarious.) That night after dinner we ventured up to the rooftop to see the night skyline of Jerusalem. Wow. I was so excited, so I called my dad and said, “You’ll never guess what I’m doing right now.” He chuckled and said, “You’re right, I never know what you are up to.” When I told him I was standing atop my hotel looking at the city he was so excited for me. I didn’t even really know yet what I was looking at, but I knew I was looking! After our call ended, I walked up to Reggie, my “adopted” Alabama grandpa, and he had tears in his eyes. I asked him what he was thinking and he said, “This is it. This is where Jesus paid it all.” And in that moment it didn’t matter what I could or could not recognize– what mattered was that I was where God gave us the most amazing and undeserving gift ever: salvation.

Jerusalem had a different energy. It was bustling and there was always a significant place that seemed to be hidden for us to discover. There were many stops but a few places stood out to me more than others, ones that I won’t ever forget how I felt while I was there.

We went to the Church of St. Peter in Gallicantu which is where the dungeon that Jesus was held in remains. We stood in there, our whole group, and there was a tug on my heart. We sang a hymn in that heartbreaking hole and I didn’t know the words, so I just closed my eyes and listened.

I felt that tug again, sitting in the Garden of Gethsemane. Coby read in Matthew where Jesus prayed to God about what He was going to have to do. He asked God for His will in the situation. After Coby finished teaching, we sang “In The Garden” together, led by Jerry. In early September, my sweet Aunt Way Way passed away and that song was played during her funeral, which is what first came to my mind when we started singing. While sitting on those steps that morning in Jerusalem, the hymn took on a whole new meaning for me. I was in the garden, with Jesus. We then split up and found spots for us to be alone with Him. And I talked with Him, and I wept. It was, so far, the most special time that I’ve been blessed to spend in His presence.

The final tug on my heart came when our group visited the Garden Tomb. Sitting beside my sweet Robin in that pavilion, listening to Pastor David passionately read about the Last Supper, and watching solemn Leslie and the other gentlemen pass out the Communion cups and bread, I experienced the same gentle tug once more. Sean led us in “Nothing But The Blood” and, honestly, that was the first Communion that I can remember being truly moved. Thank you God, for that.

Israel was amazing. I have never experienced anything like I did on that trip. I can’t believe I went. If you had told me last year that I would be traveling to Israel I would have told you that you had lost your marbles. And yet, here I am, on the other side. In love with everything I found and learned. In love with the people I shared the trip with. In love with life. In love with Jesus. My heart is so full and I am blessed beyond measure.

“How can I ever repay the Lord for all the good He has done for me?” Psalm 116:12

A special thank you to every single person who, through God, helped make this trip possible. Thank you to everyone who donated or gave me an opportunity to earn money towards this pilgrimage. Thank you to my boss, Mrs. Lynn, who gave me two weeks off during the busiest time of the year. Thank you to my whole family, my mom especially, for supporting me and watching my kitties. Thank you to my Bible study teachers, Mrs. Kelly and Mr. Jimmy, for encouraging me and helping me. And thank you to Robin and Leslie, for taking care of me, guiding me, and loving me with your huge hearts.

Thank you God. Thank you God. Thank you God.

You Make Me Brave

In 6 weeks I’m leaving for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Israel– the Holy Land.

Roughly 6 weeks ago I signed up for this trip, somewhat spontaneously. I had just returned (literally, first day back at work) from a mission trip to Big Creek Missions in Bear Branch, Kentucky. As a sat there that early morning at my desk, this thought came to my mind, “What if I went to Israel?”

I don’t know where it came from, really. Traveling out of the country has not been very big on my list of things I wanted to do in life. I very much wanted to explore the US more than anything. A few years ago, I got the desire in my heart to travel to England for a study abroad. And I loved it, mostly. And I assumed that would be my one time travel experience outside of America. That thought was okay with me– I didn’t need to travel again. Flying scares me, all the movies about young girls getting kidnapped scare me, etc. But Mrs. Kelly says the things that we know deep down are good and Godly that scare us are the things we need to run towards.

So, there I was, with this thought racing through my head. And even though I was a little nervous to even consider the idea, I chose to shoot a text to my Mission Mom, Robin and ask her about going. I ran towards the idea. Next thing you know, my amazing boss gives me the time off immediately and two days later I’m buying a plane ticket with the money I had saved for purchasing a new car. I had a little more than enough to pay for the ticket and insurance. Coincidence? I think not.

Of course, I prayed about it. I was clear and asked God for specific signs to direct me in knowing if this was part of His will for me at this time. Not only did He answer me, twice, but in addition, He blessed me with seats next to my Mission Mom and Deacon Dad on all four flights! (He shows up and shows out, my God does!)

And in one month, God provided me with all sorts of opportunities to raise funds which took care of the remaining $2,500. So many selfless friends and family members reached out and sent me a gift towards my trip. There was one family that gave me a thousand dollars simply because God laid it on their heart to give me that amount! I am so humbled by the outpouring of His blessings in my life.

I just want to give Him all of the glory. For every tiny piece of this. It wouldn’t have been possible without Him working in the background for my good. I am not worthy.

I have absolutely no idea what awaits me in Israel. I am praying for God to reveal Himself to me. I’m believing in His doing something truly awesome. I’m going to be Baptized in the Jordan River! I’m going to walk where Jesus walked! I’m going to be journeying through the Bible in a way like never before.

It hasn’t sunk in yet, it still feels distant, like a faint dream. But it is happening.

God is good. All. The. Time. And He makes me brave.

Light Unto My Path

The other day, a dear friend of mine asked me why I don’t just “do what I want” and “live my life.” These questions came up while I was gushing about the mission center I worked at last year (Big Creek Missions). I love everything about that beautiful, Appalachian home away from home. I miss being there more than I can stand sometimes. But I turned to her and said, “I love it there, but God wants me here.” She didn’t understand why I felt that way, and many people don’t– I used to not either.

The world suffocates us with the idea/belief that we should just do things our own way, focus on ourselves, it’s all about us, etc. Matthew 10:39 phrases it best, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” God tells us that if we are all about doing things our way and living our lives the way we want, we will never be content. But if we surrender our lives to Jesus, we will be. Why? Because we will be following the Lord’s will!

There are multiple times in life when we have options to choose from, but if we aren’t picking the one God wants for us, then what are we even doing?

I have stepped out of God’s will before, more times than I could probably count. And I know what my life was like– what I was like– during those seasons. After I stepped out the last time, I ended up heartbroken, empty, and incredibly confused. It was during that moment that I decided I didn’t want to ever again walk a path that God had not directed me down. Since that happened, any time I have had a serious life decision to make, I have brought it before the Lord. And I have asked for His will and for me to be able to accept it– even if it goes against what my heart wants.

So last November, when I prayed about where God wanted me next, hoping that it would once again be a summer serving at Big Creek, I asked Him for His will in my life no matter what my heart whispered. He answered me a few weeks later and though I was a little disappointed, ultimately I could accept His response with thanksgiving and praise. And although it took me a few months to understand, I have begun to see why He placed me here, back in my hometown. And I am thankful for His all-knowing ways.

Following God’s direction– walking in obedience– doesn’t mean everything will be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it does mean that the Lord will take you where you need to go and ultimately give you peace and joy in your heart.

I am so thankful for where God has directed me, for Him giving me the courage to step out in faith these past two years, and for His blessings over my life.