Not Today

Hello sweet friends,

I have to be honest with y’all. The enemy has truly been attacking me. Initially, I didn’t realize that it was the enemy. I was so upset– he got me so upset that I had an anxiety attack! I woke up so anxious still the following morning. It was rough, very rough. And it all came after a beautiful night of worship. So when I woke up the next morning, I wanted to believe it was all a dream. But like most of life, it was real and unable to be wished away.

I forced myself out of bed and into the car, driving around and blasting worship music. Worshipping our Heavenly Father is my favorite and also what helps me the most when I’m hurting or upset. It’s also when I hear God the clearest talking to me.

Anyways, as I said, I was so upset and I was trying to work through my emotions. I finally pulled my car over to the side of the road and collapsed into sobs. Not even one minute in, my phone started ringing and it was my Bible study teacher calling. Isn’t God’s timing perfect? Just when I needed uplifting the most, the best person for the job called me and lifted me up. She talked to me about how she believed Satan was attacking me. He used my biggest weakness against me– relationships.

Why was he attacking me? Because he knows I’m going to do something awesome for God this summer. He knows God has a wonderful plan for me and he wants to stop it. The night before, at the Revival, the message was about roadblocks and how Satan tries to put up roadblocks to stop us from reaching our destiny. When God started giving me this realization and helping me to put this altogether, I became angered with Satan and it made me worship God even LOUDER. Satan wants one thing– to steal your joy. But my joy comes from the Lord.

It’s not easy, but being a believer doesn’t mean life will be easy. Being a believer means that even though life is hard, we aren’t alone. And everything will turn out good. My favorite verse says, “And we know all things work together for good for those who love God and seek first Him and His righteousness.” [Romans 8:28]

I took what Satan tried to harm me with and used it to glorify God. I chose love and joy and forgiveness. I could’ve played the victim or truly used how my flesh felt I was being wronged as an excuse to be hateful or spiteful or whatnot. But I prayed to the Holy Spirit and asked Him to be LOUDER than my feelings. I asked Him to lead, guide, direct and protect me.

Not today, Satan. Not any day. You won’t steal my joy! You won’t stop me from reaching my destiny! I am more pumped than ever for this summer! All Satan did was fuel my fire for the Lord!

Sunday Is Coming

It’s Good Friday y’all, but Sunday is coming!

When Jesus was crucified, the whole world was covered in darkness. Everyone felt hopeless and heartbroken. The devil was smiling, believing he had won. Little did he know, Sunday was coming.

Our Savior rose on that Sunday, many years ago. He conquered death, hell, and the grave. He sacrificed Himself, His life, so that we could be free and have our own lives. He gave His life for love– He loves us so incredibly greater than we could ever fathom.

We all go through tough times; through heartache and disappointment. There are days when everything seems dark and hopeless. There are days when it may feel like the enemy has won. What we have to do during these moments is take a step back and remind ourselves that Sunday is coming. Remember that Jesus is victorious and so are we.

Last year, three days before Easter, a personal trial began. The significance of Easter and how it can be applied to our lives never resonated with me so strongly as it did then. After being surrounded by darkness, the light would return. After feeling overwhelmingly defeated, victory would come. It was Friday, but Sunday was coming.

No matter what trials we go through, Sunday will always come. Always. Hold onto that beautiful hope and knowledge that we will overcome because He overcame for us.

It’s Friday y’all, but Sunday is coming.

 

Yes, Jesus Loves Me

I have such a sweet and encouraging message for you today, dear friends. These past 2 – 3 weeks this one important message has been repeated to me, at different locations, by varying, unconnected speakers.

First, let me start with two questions.
1. Do you know that Jesus loves you?
2. Do you know what love is?

The story that has kept coming up is the one of Lazarus. [John 11:3] When Jesus receives the letter about his illness, it reads only, “The one who you love is sick.” That’s all that was written. Nothing else. And Jesus knew exactly who it was about.

Have we ever thought about the fact that it doesn’t matter how much we love Jesus, but how much Jesus loves us? Yes, we all should love Jesus but our love for Him will never compare to His love for us. Jesus agape loves us. Agape is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love.

Sometimes I think we get used to repeating that “Jesus loves us,” but we don’t truly think about how true that statement is. Jesus Christ died for you. God sent His only son to die so that we could be saved. And not just specific people, but everybody. Jesus died for every single one of us. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” [John 3:16]

Now, when it comes to love, so many of us have the definition mixed up. Love isn’t simply a feeling, true love is a choice. You may not always feel love/loved– there will be days we’ll go through where we don’t feel loved, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t loved. Because real love isn’t a fickle feeling, real love is something we choose to do over and over.

Jesus looked at that cross on Calvary, and looked at us sinners, and said we were worthy. 

That’s true love. That’s real love. That’s agape love.

You and I have the choice to love and to be loved. Jesus’ love is there for us; overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love. It chases us down, fights until we’re found, and leaves the ninety-nine. His love is there for us, for whoever, whenever we want it.

With love and grace, open your hearts to His love.

It Is Well

I started this blog in the spring of this year to help me not only remind myself of what I’ve been learning, but to also help others out there that may be experiencing the same trials.

This was a life-changing year for me. I started the year believing it would end in a certain way, having my plans all laid out. Nothing that I planned in the beginning happened– in fact, the exact opposite happened.

The relationship I was in ended– I definitely didn’t see that coming. It truly broke my heart. And as much as it hurt, and sometimes still does, I am so thankful that it happened. If you ever read this, I told you before, but thank you. By having my heart broken, God had a place to heal me. God is always with us, no matter where we are. But the place where He does the most molding in the lowest places, the darkest places, the broken places. (Psalm 34:18) (2 Corinthians 4:6-15) (John 15)

[“The Unmaking” by Nichole Nordeman resonated strongly with me this year. I recommend you to give it a listen if you’re going through a tough season.]

I always said that I loved God. I always said that He loved me too. But I don’t think I truly knew what His love was until this year. I needed Him, more than any other time before. He loved on me a whole lot extra this year. And I felt His presence an incredible amount this year. And I watched Him move in my life. I am closer to Him than ever before.

He had a wiped blank slate to start with and He has been molding me into the person He created me to be. I can’t wait to continue getting to know her.

He blessed me. I graduated from college. I enjoyed my final semester more than any other semester. I had my own solo exhibition. I grew.

I always enjoy looking back over periods of time. I do it constantly– time amazes me. Change amazes me. God amazes me.

I thank God for pruning me.
I thank God for the wonderful people that have come in and out of my life this year.
I thank God for empowering me.
I thank God for the boldness I gained.
I thank God for increasing my faith.
I thank God for loving me unconditionally.
I thank God for healing what was broken.
I thank God for the memories I will always cherish.
I thank God for the lessons learned.
I thank God for the love I received.
I thank God for the love I gave.
I thank God for my soulmate (I don’t know who you are yet, but I can’t wait to meet you).
I thank God for my family and my friends.
I thank God for protection.
I thank God for making a way for me.
I thank God for all the promises He has in store for me.
I thank God for another year to glorify Him.
I thank God for everything. Every single thing.

Things To Keep In 2018
– Lamentations 3:22 – 24
– Isaiah 54:10
– John 3:16 – 17
– Psalm 86:5
– Jeremiah 1:4 – 5
– Psalm 46:10
– Philippians 4:6 – 7
– John 14:27

Things To Let Go Of In 2018
– Ephesians 4:31 – 32
– 1 Peter 5:7
– Matthew 11:28

Things To Remember: 
– Proverbs 24:16
– 1 John 1:9
– James 3:2
– Philippians 3:12
– Romans 8:28 (personal favorite)

I have no idea where 2018 will take me. And that’s okay. I’m excited to see where He leads me.

With love and grace, thank you for reading along this year. I’ll see you again in 2018.

 

 

 

Rej[prot]ected

I know what it feels like to fall head-over-heels in love with someone– to believe that God created them specifically for you. I know what having a best friend like you never had before and making plans with them and dreaming about your future and believing that nothing will ever come between the two of you feels like. And I know what it feels like to watch the person you held so dear to your heart walk right out of your life— and the worst part is that there is not one single thing you can do to change their mind.

I know what it feels like to replay everything over in your mind– every single thing. Every happy memory, any sad memory, the end– all of it. Constantly on a loop. As if reliving it over and over again will allow you to go back and change the fact that they are gone. I know what it feels like to cry so hard and so often that a time comes when you can’t even form tears any longer, when your throat hurts from sobbing, when your head is aching and begging you to please just lay down and close your eyes, and when you’re wishing you could just pull your heart out of your chest so that the aching will finally stop. I know what it feels like to want to sleep so you can have relief from the constant thoughts and images flickering through your head and not being able to escape because your dreams are even worse. And then you have to wake up and come to terms with everything all over again.

But do you know what else I know? I know that it will get better. I know that it takes time and sometimes it feels slower than Christmas. I know that your heart will heal– but you have to bring it to God.

We ask why an awful lot– why did this happen to me? Nothing will improve if we spend our time asking why instead of asking what. What am I being prepared for? What is God going to do in my life? What do I need to do to be who He created me to be?

God has someone out there for me and you. I wish it was simple and easy but it isn’t. And if it was, what would the point in living even be? We wouldn’t gain anything or grow into the person we need to be.

Sometimes we get people that are here for a season confused with those that are here for a lifetime. Sometimes we let rejection creep into our hearts and plant bitterness– but you can’t do that. There is protection in rejection. If we truly believe that God has our best interests at heart, that He is good and everything will work out for us believers, then why don’t we see rejection as a blessing? Obviously it hurts and I am in no way saying don’t feel the emotions that come with it. What I am saying is after that time of grieving (and even during) praise God. Thank God. Because whatever happened has a purpose in your life.

We’re like pearls. We have to be wounded to turn into something beautiful.

Even Jesus was rejected– and He did the most beautiful thing of all.

Whatever God removes from your life He will replace with something greater. I know there will be moments where you may doubt or feel the sting of hurt again, but you can’t allow it to consume your life. Yes, you were rejected– but that is not who you are. 

Disappointments are God’s way of saying He has something better in store for you. 

So love on yourself, love on others. Pray for the people that rejected you. Thank God for His protection. Don’t allow this hurt to make you bitter, no matter the circumstances. Keep your heart softened.

With love and grace, embrace the protection.